List, movies, and possible sexism

So, awhile back, a friend of my made a list of what kind of women cretin movies would be

And now, I share the list with you, you lucky bastards!

Blade Runner: Goth chick

Avatar: Surprisingly well-groomed hippie chick

The Star Wars Series: Hot chick who was kind of frumpy in high school

Shaun of the Dead: Nice, normal, closeted Romero fan girl

The Matrix: Leather fetishist/ philosophy major

Transformers: Piercings up the wahzoo

Titanic: Overly romantic, pudgy, middle age women

Die Hard : The best office Christmas party one night stand anybody ever had

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King: Nice night out, but kept prolonging leaving

Jurassic Park: Hot paleontologist

Indiana Jones: Harrison Ford (Not that I"m suggesting that Mr.Ford is a lady, I'm saying that in his prime, he could tempt a man away from Heterosexuality-Hell, he could do that now)

Casablanca: Old flame

Back to the Future: Your mama

Casino Royal: Scary, yet hot younger sister of your ex.

Dr. Strangelove: Nazi/soviet Fetish model

Airplane: Shirley

Godzilla franchise : Anti-nuclear protester that gets into an insane amount of bar fights.

Jaws: enjoys skinny dipping

E.T.: Your cute, 5-year-old cousin

Terminator: Emotionless body builder (or alternately, Summer Glau)

Army of Darkness: The manliness woman you've ever met in the hardware store

Home Alone: Lives in a compound, alone in the middle of the Utah wilderness

I also have very strange ideas on what constitutes "Evil"

After much thought and philosophical musing, I have come to this concussion:

Unicorns are evil

Think about, in most stories, only virgins can ride unicorns, right? So, this discourages reproduction-because only way little girls (or boys-I'm not sure how this works, really) can ride-and keep on riding this majestic creatures is to never have kids therefore reducing the population of mankind

Unicorns are clearly demonic creatures from the depths of hell! Or agents of an alien conquer! Or the ...space devil, I guess.

I've put too much thought into this

I have very different standards of 'cute'

Okay, here's a poster for the new horror film Splice

Now, it's a great poster, but it seems to me the creature is less 'horrifying' and more...well, cute.

Maybe it's just me, but when I look at this poster I don't think "oh my god, what is that horrible creature?" , I think "Ah, whose a cute little sin against nature? You are! Yes, You are!"

Maybe it's the dress

Marry (late) Chirstmas: Here's a poem

‘Twas the Night before Christmas

And all through out the planet

Only one creature was stirring

Causing horror and Panic

For to night of all nights

The Stars were all right

To awaken Chutulu

And start endless fright

Chutulu emerged, from his slumber

Deep with in the Sea

And onto land he lumbered

Causing all Hell to break free

Across the nation

Cultists shouted with glee,

Killing and rapping

In mad ecstasy

The Deep ones, from Innsmouth

Arose from sea beads

And celebrated the occasion

With some Fried human heads

But what’s this?

A fat man, all dressed up in red!

He’s approaching Chutulu!

Does he wish he was Dead?

Oh, look! He’s rolling up his sleeves!

Is he going to try hit Chutulu?

Is that what this means?

And the Men in reds’ fits

Hit there target with a mighty BASH

And Great Chutulu flew back into sea

Returning with a Splash

And so here’s a quick message,

To all old God’s of the night

Be good this Christmas

Or Santa will punch out your lights

Avatar review

For a movie that is basically Dances with wolves IN SPACE it more than lives up to hype.


I mean, It' s as if James Cameron took everything he did in Terminator, Aliens, and Titanic and combined them into a 3d-furry Voltron (That sentence was paraphrased from my friend Nathan. Please do not kill me, Nathan. I have kids. Somewhere. Maybe.)

Anyhow: here's a random list of thing I liked about the film:

1)I like how theirs pseudo-scienictentific explanation for the stand red Mystic-nature-Mambo-Jambo going on. makes some latter scenes make more sense, rather then coming off as cheese.

2) The 3d effects are more subtle than, "Ahhh, theirs a spear in your face!" It Plays into the background giving the whole thing a sense of Being "Real" so to speak

3) The main antagonist is possible the most crazy bad-ass character in the entire film. The Dude kicks open an airlock , marches into a toxic Atmosphere without an oxygen mask . He doesn't need one-He has extra oxygen tanks stored in his massive balls

4) You know, the pilot lady (Learning character names is for squares, man) is pretty much the same character as Private Vasquez from Aliens

5) I did not realise that Sigourney Weaver was in this movie until the credits rolled

6) The Giant Robots are equipped with gigantic Combat knives. Okay, Who has that kind of Foresight? Who says to themselves "Okay, just in case we end up fighting 6-foot tall Smurfs riding giant cats, we're going put a Giant Combat Knife on the robot?" Whose equipping this army, Batman?

2 post? in the same month!?! Surely, the end times are upon use!

No, they're not, post-title thingy. And don't call me "Shirley"


I found this blog/Gallery called Concept ships. It's basically Spaceship/plane porn.

And it's awesome . They also have a sister site called (creatively enough) concept robots.

And it's also awesome.

No, seriously.

Would I even think of using italics inaccurately? (Don't answer that)

Back from the Dead

Hello, My non-existent Audiences! Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated, And I have returned to the inter-webs for no real reason.

Here's some more posters: