Sunday, June 27, 2010

List, movies, and possible sexism

So, awhile back, a friend of my made a list of what kind of women cretin movies would be

And now, I share the list with you, you lucky bastards!

Blade Runner: Goth chick

Avatar: Surprisingly well-groomed hippie chick

The Star Wars Series: Hot chick who was kind of frumpy in high school

Shaun of the Dead: Nice, normal, closeted Romero fan girl

The Matrix: Leather fetishist/ philosophy major

Transformers: Piercings up the wahzoo

Titanic: Overly romantic, pudgy, middle age women

Die Hard : The best office Christmas party one night stand anybody ever had

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King: Nice night out, but kept prolonging leaving

Jurassic Park: Hot paleontologist

Indiana Jones: Harrison Ford (Not that I"m suggesting that Mr.Ford is a lady, I'm saying that in his prime, he could tempt a man away from Heterosexuality-Hell, he could do that now)

Casablanca: Old flame

Back to the Future: Your mama

Casino Royal: Scary, yet hot younger sister of your ex.

Dr. Strangelove: Nazi/soviet Fetish model

Airplane: Shirley

Godzilla franchise : Anti-nuclear protester that gets into an insane amount of bar fights.

Jaws: enjoys skinny dipping

E.T.: Your cute, 5-year-old cousin

Terminator: Emotionless body builder (or alternately, Summer Glau)

Army of Darkness: The manliness woman you've ever met in the hardware store

Home Alone: Lives in a compound, alone in the middle of the Utah wilderness

Saturday, June 26, 2010

I also have very strange ideas on what constitutes "Evil"

After much thought and philosophical musing, I have come to this concussion:

Unicorns are evil

Think about, in most stories, only virgins can ride unicorns, right? So, this discourages reproduction-because only way little girls (or boys-I'm not sure how this works, really) can ride-and keep on riding this majestic creatures is to never have kids therefore reducing the population of mankind

Unicorns are clearly demonic creatures from the depths of hell! Or agents of an alien conquer! Or the devil, I guess.

I've put too much thought into this

Friday, June 11, 2010

I have very different standards of 'cute'

Okay, here's a poster for the new horror film Splice

Now, it's a great poster, but it seems to me the creature is less 'horrifying' and more...well, cute.

Maybe it's just me, but when I look at this poster I don't think "oh my god, what is that horrible creature?" , I think "Ah, whose a cute little sin against nature? You are! Yes, You are!"

Maybe it's the dress