Mysteries of the marvel universe episode 1: Of pants and hulks

Of all the bizarre wonders and urine-spilling terrors of the marvel universes, their is none more incredible then Bruce Banner's rampaging alter-ego. But one question about the irradiated behemoth has always linger in the mind of people with far too much time on their hands: what the hell's up with the hulk's pants? They always grow to the with him while every other scrap of cloths is shredded, and their always purple, no matter  what color Banner's original pants.
It's almost as if  the universe is trying to spear/deny us a look at the hulk's pulsating member (unless we're counting the ultimate universe, which were not, because fuck Mark Miller that's why) .
Anyhow, to answer this age old  riddle, we must turn to marvel's first family: The Fantastic Four. Now, the Four make most of their money off Reed's patents, right? and what's one of Reed's most known inventions?  Nigh-unbreakable fabric made out of unstable molecules.
 And who better to take advantage of this discovery than the fashion industry? Now, It's probably too expensive to make regular civilian cloths out of unstable molecules, but whose to say that they couldn't mix a bit of the stuff in with the regular martial for increased durability?
 Perhaps gamma radiation reacts adversely with these trace amount of unstable molecules , turning the pigment of the fabric purple. Perhaps I should   stop taking request from my friends on what to write about. Perhaps I should invest in a bomb shelter and power rangers memorabilia. Perhaps I should  stop asking the internet   

The Santa Clause Question

My sister was watching The Santa Clause (staring Tim Allen), and a thought came upon me:

In Santa Clause movies, adults never believe in Santa Clause, despite the fact that, in the movie's reality, Santa Clause DOES exist and DOES fly around the world giving kids presents.

Which leads me to my question: Why don't these people realize that Santa Clause exist? I mean, where do they think the presents-that didn't buy, and yet somehow appear under the tree on Christmas morning -come form? What are they told? Do they think that government welfare ninja's break into their homes and deliver the gifts? Is it a case of mass denial? Or mass cover-up? Why would the governments of the world refuse to acknowledge Santa's existence? I'm mean, I could understand non-Christian theocratic nations, like Iran, or Atheist communist nations like the Soviet union, but why everywhere else? Do they just not like admitting that thousand-year old fat man can slip past all their security measures and Defenses?

Or is it something else? Could it be that whatever mystic mumbo-jumbo Santa uses to travel around the world in one night and get in to any house also alter the memories of parents so that they think that they bought the gifts? What about physical proof, like used wrapping paper and gift receipts and other physical evidence, such as video footage of them buying the presents? Are those just hyper real hallucinations, or can the spell alter reality as well? If so, why would St. Nick go out of his way to deny himself credit? Hell, if you can change the past, why even bother going around the world in the first place, if you can alter history so that the gifts you're going to deliver are already there? Why did I write two whole paragraphs containing nothing but questions?

I've put too much thought in to this

I also have very strange ideas on what constitutes "Evil"

After much thought and philosophical musing, I have come to this concussion:

Unicorns are evil

Think about, in most stories, only virgins can ride unicorns, right? So, this discourages reproduction-because only way little girls (or boys-I'm not sure how this works, really) can ride-and keep on riding this majestic creatures is to never have kids therefore reducing the population of mankind

Unicorns are clearly demonic creatures from the depths of hell! Or agents of an alien conquer! Or the ...space devil, I guess.

I've put too much thought into this

Back from the Dead

Hello, My non-existent Audiences! Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated, And I have returned to the inter-webs for no real reason.

Here's some more posters:

Aparnetily, I'm a Master Detecive and my own Sucssor

I Took Some "Death Note" Perisonality quizs


Here's the results:




EDIT: Why did I Think this was worth sharing? And I didn't I size it right? The World will never know....